T25 week 5: weigh in

Okay, so the first 2 weeks of T25 were going great. I was motivated, I didn't have any eating slip ups. I felt stronger each day.

Then I went out of town...

Actually, that was at the end of week 2. I packed my lunch and dinner and picked up a low-er cal option from McDonald's (egg mcmuffin). It was an overnight trip,  14 hrs there, sleep, go to a quick ceremony, 14 hrs back. Well, it started off great, and then there, I met up with my husband who I hadn't seen in a couple months. We decided to order food in and I super binged and it was so good to have so many carbs again!! On the roadtrip back... fried chicken .

Not to mentioned I skipped those 2 days of working out. The following week, even though I woke early to workout, I was sick and couldn't put my all into it. And I wasn't adding extra workouts. I had been doing at least 2 treadmill jogs and one session where I pretended I knew what I was doing with weights. Week 4 went a lot better! Gave the workouts my all, didn't miss any and added 2 treadmill sessions and a couple swimming sessions as well. But my eating?? Not the best! Cooking for my husband also, I make bigger meals which increases my chances of overeating. I have made a few healthy meals that ALL my family loved. But we've also eaten out a couple times, which I hardly ever do without my husband home.

Anyway, I wrote all that BEFORE weighing myself because I woke feeling not so skinny today. I knew I wouldn't be very happy with the scale. This wasn't the best weekend- eating wise. We went out for an anniversary dinner and drinks. I didn't workout.

I stepped on the scale and it said 130. I stepped on the scale two more times to make sure.

130.

I am right back where I started. And now my whole life feels like a waste.

I didn't make any improvement on myself this past week. My house is a mess. My toddler is clingy. We didn't make any home improvements this weekend. We spent money on unimportant, unnecessary, frivolous things. I'm frustrated with myself. I've wasted time these past few weeks and I'm. Right. Back. Where. I. Started.

Ugh.

Maybe I'm being overly dramatic, but I feel like a failure. Not only with this journey but in my life in general. I can't even succeed at the smaller stuff. I feel like I'm drowning in failure and I NEEDED this small win. I'm not going anywhere professionally, I can't even use the bathroom in peace, I'm not succeeding at having a clean, organized house and I feel like this house is going to collapse on us because we don't know what we're doing as home owners.

Now where do I go from here?